Reawakening the Light Within • Losing Myself in Menopause, and Finding My Light Again
There was a moment in early 2024 when I genuinely thought I might be pregnant.
After years of trying, I felt a flicker of hope return. My partner and I weren’t using protection, and I hadn’t had a period in a while. Something in me (quietly, cautiously) began to wonder,
Could it be…?
But as the days passed, I realized the truth unfolding inside me wasn’t new life, it was a sacred ending. A quiet rite of passage, one I was not yet ready for.
It was my body crossing a threshold I hadn’t fully prepared for.
A closing of one door… and the slow, soul-stirring opening of another.
It was menopause.
When Your Body Becomes a Stranger
I’ve always been fairly healthy. I rarely take Advil or Tylenol, I reach for peppermint oil, Reiki, and my Healy.
So when the aches began, deep, throbbing pain through my hips, thighs, and legs, I was stunned and wondered what was wrong with me. It felt like the growing pains I’d suffered as a child, except worse. I couldn’t explain it. My body, once familiar and reliable, was speaking in a language I no longer understood.
Almost overnight, the pain spread to my hands, sharp, arthritic aches that made me feel like I was aging decades in days.
It didn’t make sense. Nothing had prepared me for this. My body, once familiar and grounded, had become unpredictable, foreign.
Then came the emotional waves, I was unraveling. Crying without reason. Snapping over small things. Watching myself act out of character and wondering who had taken over. It was like Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde living inside my skin. And I couldn't find the switch.
And then the hot flashes, an intense, searing heat I’d never truly understood until it hit me, leaving me feeling like I was about to internally combust.
Then there were the night sweats. Facing all these physical and emotional challenges during the day, and then not sleeping at night, waking up drenched, my sheets soaked through.
I felt exhausted, foggy, disconnected. Like I was losing my mind.
I didn’t know how to do the work I loved anymore. I could barely stay present in meditation or self-Reiki because my mind wouldn’t stop racing.
The Invisible Grief No One Talks About
Everyone told me I was “too young” for menopause. But deep down, I knew something was changing.
My periods had stopped completely for over a year, but the year before, they were irregular and unpredictable. My energy was drained. My moods were all over the place. And no one seemed to take it seriously at first.
Doctors kept dismissing my symptoms as “just stress.” So I turned to what I always do when my body and spirit are struggling: natural healing, supplements, oils, Reiki, rest, self-care.
But it wasn’t enough.
Beneath it all was another layer of pain: the grief of realizing I would never become a mother. It broke my heart in ways few people seemed to understand.
When I finally got my hormones checked, I learned I’d been living in a high-cortisol state for months, maybe longer. My nervous system was running on fumes. I was surviving, not thriving.
And here’s the thing: this doesn’t only happen in menopause. Perimenopause can start years, even a decade, before periods stop completely. That’s why so many women feel off balance without realizing hormones are playing a role.
When You Start to Feel Like You’re Fading
I began to feel like I was disappearing.
At my core, I still felt young. I still had a zest for life.
But suddenly, I felt like a dried-up old woman.
Sex became painful. My libido vanished. My emotions were unpredictable. And I was in a relationship where I didn’t always feel supported, especially when I needed it most.
Men get older and are seen as “distinguished.”
Women? We’re told to fade into the background.
Put on a muumuu and disappear quietly.
But I wasn’t ready to disappear. I still had so much life to live. At my core, I still felt young. I still had a spark. A wild heart. A hunger for life.
But my body was telling a different story.
And I started to feel like I was… fading.
But I refused to vanish.
I’m still sacred. Still sensual. Still radiant.
And I want to feel that every single day, not just in fleeting moments.
I’m dating again. I’m reclaiming that part of myself.
And I want every woman going through this to know:
You’re still allowed to feel beautiful, magnetic, and alive.
The Turning Point: Getting Support That Actually Helped
Eventually, I found the right support, a doctor who didn’t dismiss my symptoms but truly heard me.
But even more importantly, it was the support of other women walking this same path that transformed everything.
Conversations with friends who understood. Women who didn’t look away when I spoke my truth. Sacred circles where I could share my story without shame.
It was in these spaces, and through my daily spiritual practices, that I finally felt seen, held, and empowered to heal.
The fog began to lift, and I started coming home to myself.
The big challenges in my life didn’t go away. In fact, many intensified:
My partner and I broke up.
My father’s health declined.
I faced major uncertainty around where to live next.
But suddenly… I could handle it.
I could breathe again.
The fog lifted.
That’s when I knew: I had to help other women through this, too.
Because for the first time in a long time…
I was home in my body.
Because we’re not meant to navigate this journey alone.
The Spiritual Side of Menopause
Menopause and perimenopause, are more than physical changes. They’re a soul shift.
Many women don’t realize that as hormones like estrogen and progesterone decline, the body’s ability to regulate stress weakens. Without their calming influence, the nervous system can stay stuck in fight-or-flight. And for many of us, after years of caring for others, working through stress, or carrying old wounds, our adrenals are already running on empty.
High cortisol levels can leave you feeling:
Bloated or gaining weight around your midsection
Easily triggered or emotionally raw
Wired but exhausted, with disrupted sleep
Disconnected from your desire, joy, or sense of self
This is why so many women in midlife say:
“I don’t feel like myself anymore.”
That was me, too.
But here’s what I’ve learned: menopause isn’t just an ending, it’s an initiation into a new, powerful version of yourself.
My healing wasn’t just emotional or spiritual, it meant changing how I cared for my body, too. Old habits no longer worked. I had to slow down, nourish myself differently, and find new ways to support my nervous system.
Even on the hardest days, I kept returning to my sacred practices. Sometimes it was just five minutes of silence. Sometimes, simply placing a hand on my heart and breathing through the fog.
It wasn’t always graceful. But I kept showing up.
Looking back, I don’t know how I would have made it through without these tools. They didn’t erase the struggle, but they helped me hold it. They reminded me I wasn’t powerless. They offered a thread of light when everything else felt dim.
These Are the Practices That Carried Me
✨ Daily self-Reiki
🌙 Moon rituals & ceremonies that reminded me of my cyclical wisdom
🌀 Connecting with like-minded women, because we’re not meant to walk this alone
🎶 Healy frequency healing
🌌 Astrology & Human Design to understand my energy and the planetary movements influencing my shifts
💨 Breathwork and meditation
💗 Soulful conversations with women who get it
🌕 Working with a coach in a sacred container where I could be seen, heard, and supported
🌾 Learning to slow down, listen to my body, and put myself first, for maybe the first time in my life
These practices didn’t just help me cope.
They brought me home to myself.
I’m not a doctor, and I always encourage you to speak with your healthcare provider about any symptoms or changes you’re experiencing. But understanding what’s happening in your body during midlife can be incredibly empowering.
Reiki, breathwork, meditation, and intuitive movement aren’t just spiritual practices, they’re deeply supportive for your nervous system. They help shift you out of a stress response and back into your body.
They bring softness, presence, and regulation.
They help you return to yourself, not the version you used to be, but the one you’re becoming.
This Is Why I Created Reawakening Your Inner Light
I’m building a sacred container for women moving through this sacred initiation.
This is for the mothers, sisters, caretakers, the healers, the ones holding it all together, the women who feel like their light is fading and don’t know what to do, the ones who no longer recognize the women they see in the mirror.
For the ones who’ve been told to keep going while quietly falling apart inside.
This is for the woman who misses her own laughter.
Who wants her fire back. Her sensuality. Her self-trust.
Who wants to reclaim her light, without apology.
This space I’m creating blends Reiki, soul coaching, moon rituals, personalized sessions, and sacred sisterhood.
It’s a place to breathe again.
To be held.
To return to the woman within.
✨ The waitlist for Reawakening Your Inner Light is now officially open. ✨
A sacred invitation to return to the light that has always lived within you.
If this speaks to your soul, I’d be honoured for you to join me on this journey.
Together, let’s reawaken your light.
Sending you so much love and light,
Natalie
🙏🏻💖💫